yargh!

Why can't people listen to me? Sometimes I really do know what I'm talking about. Take my job. Sometimes people do things a little bit incorrectly but not so much that it's wrong. I try to offer my help/insight/suggestions; it gets completely dissed. For example, I really know my shit. Hahaha. Sorry, fecal humor. Anyway, I know my parasites and their ova quite well. Somethings look a lot alike and are only differentiated by size. One of my peeps keeps calling something that I would swear on the mother of Buddha is wrong. Well, not technically wrong, but not technically right either (same genus, different species--they are medicinally treated the same). I finally had a prefect example of the "wrong" one today, told this other person about it, saved the slide, asked if they wanted to look at it, etc. Why do I bother? I might as well have said that my left buttock was on fire. GAH!

peace at last

For the first time in years, I feel really good. I mean, really good! This past weekend was one of the most soul cleansing experiences of my entire life. It rivals the 5 days alone on a beach the Maldives or the 3 days alone touring the moors of Yorkshire. Normally, I have to be alone to have a truly extraordinarily life changing moment. It is usually some sort of fight with an inner demon that I must battle on my own. This weekend, it took a man and a horse. (Hbomb, get your mind outta the gutter, you freak.) I thank them both.

The dinner with the HSBF went so much better than expected. Granted, I'm not sure what I expected. Some of you know, some of you don't--it's not something I broadcast--but he and I had probably one of the worst breakups in the history of breakups. Of course, that's coming from someone who was a part of it! There were accusations of cheating, lying, and faithlessness. Of those, only one was true. And it was true on both of our parts--faithlessness. Friday night, everything was brought into the open for once and for all. We both told the whole truth, and we believed each other for the first time. I didn't expect to have a crying fest, but it was so good to get it all out. After all those years, he still wiped away my tears. I'll probably never see him again (as he lives half a continent away), but that's okay. We made our peace.

Yesterday it was too beautiful not to go riding. I drove what seemed like eternity up to Denton to meet up with a colleague from work. Keep in mind I've been riding English for most of my life. Her horses are all Western trained--cutting and roping horses. I was amazed how different all the cues were. It was all reins over the neck and leg cues--no bit work. I spent a good 30 minutes (at least) in the training ring proving to my friend's husband that I knew what I was doing. I had to learn all the new cues, and he was a FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC instructor. I think I learned more from him in 30 minutes than I did in 2+ years of lessons. Maybe that was because it was one on one, maybe it was because the horse was so good, maybe it was just fate. When we finally headed out for the trail, I was so glad I wore long sleeves. We kinda made our own trails since it was so mucky down there by the river bottom. I've never been so tormented by mesquite and honey locust trees. The latter is definitely worse--thorns up to 3 inches long! My big, bad gelding was so good at letting me guide him around the low hanging stuff when possible. Unfortunately, most of the time it was just put the head down to his neck and let him pick his way through the underbrush. We even ran into some wild cattle out there! It was so refreshing to sit back, and let Takota go. He had such a great canter, wait, umm, I mean lope (this was Western after all) and a fairly smooth trot. He only kicked once, but his ears warned me ahead of time. They told me to let them know when was good for me to come out and ride again. I can't wait!

So there you go--my fantabulous weekend in a nutshell. My most sincere thanks to all who were a part of it!

here I wait

Well, the dinner is tonight. In fact my HS ex should be here in about 5 minutes. I am such a dork. For some strange reason, I'm uber nervous. Could it because he once again looks as good as he did back then while I don't? Am I afraid of what bad times we'll talk about? Or am I just scared he'll look at me and think "man, what was I ever thinking?" I guess I should pay attention to the door. The itunes is up rather loud! We'll see what tonight holds....

Blargh!

Things are so confusing right now. I have things going on at work that I can't even begin to describe. The xy and I are officially kiboshed. My ex from highschool/college is going to be in town tomorrow, and we're going out to dinner. I found out today that I will be working 12-13 hour days for one whole week during a training session. I can't attend the training and not do the work. Then there is the whole going back to school to finish that danged masters degree that will start soon. I'm sure I'm forgetting something, but if I seem a little flighty lately, this is why. Sorry to keep this so short. Take care y'all!

Now, I need a nap before I go get my hair cut.

Sleep

I just wanted to share with you all one of my all-time favorite songs. I recommend you all find it and give it a listen. It is amazing what beautiful music can do to dreary day and a dreary mood. I'm on my second repeat of it right now....

Sleep
original poem written by Charles Anthony Silvestri
musical setting: Eric Whitacre

The evening hangs beneath the moon,
A silver thread on darkened dune.
With closing and eyes and resting head,
I know that sleep is coming soon.

Upon my pillow, safe in bed,
A thousand pictures fill my head.
I cannot sleep, my mind's a-flight;
And yet my limbs seem made of lead.

If there are noises in the night,
A frightening shadow, flickering light;
Then I surrender unto sleep,
Where clouds of dream give second sight.

What dreams may come, both dark and deep,
Of flying wings and soaring leap
As I surrender unto sleep,
As I surrender unto sleep.

waiting on the centrifuge

I thought I would take these 10 minutes to blog a bit. It's a gross, dreary, cold, rainy Saturday here in Texas. I have to admit that I am enjoying it. It fits my mood. No, I'm not depressed or anything, I'm just blah. Part of me is happy, another part sad, and bits of me are hopeful.

I am happy because the Boy is here at work with me today. He and his girlfriend had their valentine's dinner last night (couldn't do it Thursday because she had to study for a test on Friday--I like this girl!). He got her a necklace, and she got him an Xbox 360. Dang! Granted, today is his birthday, too, so she got a combo gift. Still! That's awesome! They are the epitome of young love. It's a great thing to see. He's over working in the hood with his laptop playing the valentines music mix he made for them. How sweet!!!

I'm sad because I'm sitting here listening to all the songs about happiness, love, devotion, and all that crap. I'll get over it. I still have not heard from the xy yet. A girl at work had the idea that maybe something happened and he couldn't call--like he was in an accident or something. I'm gonna doubt that. The odds are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to low. Of course if that is the case, I'll be even more distraught because of my lack of faith in him. But hey. At this point, I gotta look out for number one.

I am hopeful because I finally got a call from my old thesis professor. It looks like I'll be restarting the masters work come June (or August depending on my student status now--I may have to do the reapplication thing since it's been a little over a year since he and I tried this before). I really want to finish this degree! Not only because it will mean that I will have one more degree than my father. Not even because it will make me more marketable or make me more money in the long run. I want to do it to prove to myself that I can finish something I started.

Well, timer just went off on the centrifuge. Gotta get back to work. Happy Saturday you guys!

and so goes the Hallmark holiday

Sometimes I wonder. Who was the idiot that invented "Valentine's Day" as it stands today? It actually has some mysterious origins involving a martyred Saint Valentine. Whatever. I don't see why it had to become so commercialized. Granted, it doesn't piss me off as much as the over commercialization of Christmas, but it's definitely second on my list.

In my life I have had one, yes only one, truly memorable and thoughtful Valentine's Day gift/token from a boyfriend. I'm sorry, but the gifts from friends and parents don't count. At least according to all the commercials, stores, and internet. I can't remember the last VDay I spent with a "significant other." This year, I didn't even get a phone call. I'm sorry, but in my book, that is inexcusable. I'm sorry if someone is having "problems" or "difficulties" or whatever you want to call them. How hard is it to pick up a phone and say "Hi! Happy Valentine's Day. Sorry I can't really talk long, but I wanted you to know that I respect you enough to call." Really, is it hard? No more excuses for that one. If there is to be any sort of reconciliation, there's gonna be a lot of begging on his part. Not only me, but everyone deserves better than that.

And then to memorialize the Valentine's Day Massacre of 1929, some idiot has to go and kill five students in Illinois. What is wrong with the world? I thank God again for all my friends and family whom I love. I hope that if one of them were that disturbed, I would know. Nothing is worth any death like that. My prayers go to the families of those students and those left wounded.

By the way, that one terrific gift was 17 years ago.

Dang, I'm pathetic. I still hate the pms.

pms can bite the big one

I am so sick of this Valentines BS on the TV, radio, print media, internet...it's EVERYWHERE!!! Is this to make those of us who can't spend one freaking day out of the year with that "one special person" miserable? You never hear of the Arbor Day or Columbus Day Massacre do you? Do you??? It was prolly all those women who had their hearts broken by Hallmark that caused that little bit o' history.

Ack!!! PMS sucks.

wtf?

So while I was out driving all over creation today, I saw the most interesting thing. I was stopped at a stoplight waiting to cross over a highway. Anyone want to guess what else was stopped and waiting next to me? Two old men on unicycles. Yes, unicycles. One had a long grey moustache and the other a mini version of a ZZ Top beard. Of all the people you expect to be on unicycles, these were the two least likely. What a trip.

Okay, it is entirely too hard to type with a bandage on the tip of my right middle finger (you should see all the typos I'm correcting as I go). Ergo, I'm outta here for the day. I've got a little screwing to do around the house. Get your mind outta the gutter! I've got a couple new faceplates to put on the walls. Gosh, you people....

post massage

Mmmm, warm.
Content.
So happy now. And a little sleepy.
*yawn*
Bed would be comfy. *sigh* Drool.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

3rd post today!

Okay, if I could gather all my thoughts at once, I wouldn't be me. Dude, it sometimes takes me 4 attempts to leave my house in the morning because I keep leaving things. Just ask my mother. She used to laugh at me because of it. Now on to business.

This is a shout out to my new crack dealers. Winny, if you read this, it is all your fault that I am now addicted to Puffs Plus with Vicks. Man, that stuff is da bomb!

And for people keeping up with my nasal health, I finally used that damnable contraption called a neti pot today. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but it is a creepy ass feeling to have warm saline flowing back behind your nose. Soothing and warming, but uber creepy. I bought it two weeks ago, opened it one week ago, and finally used it tonight. Not bad for me. It took me years and years of convincing to get contacts.

Peace out!

and by the way...

It is soooooooooooo hard to get into the no meat on Fridays during Lent thing. I swear to Buddha that it's a test from God. I crave meat much more often on Fridays. Why? Oh why?!?! I'm so tempted. Luckily tonight I gave in and only had shrimp. If the Catholics don't think it's a meat, neither do I!

end of the week

Finally, I am at home. I don't have to go back to work until Tuesday. I can feel the weight lifting. However, check out the horrorscope for today:

Your feelings are close to the surface, making you more vulnerable today than usual. One tactic is stoicism, where you deny your sensitivity and avoid the crucial issues. The other strategy, however, is showing up as you are and sharing your less-than-rational side. Once you realize that you don't need to hide your emotions, your inner strength will also shine.

Funny how these things can seem so appropriate sometimes. With the constant work for 2 weeks, lack of communication with the XY, craziness at work, and hormones, I admitted to a friend at work that I was feeling extra sensitive. Then I read the above. I couldn't help but laugh! This weekend will help a lot. Tomorrow is a massage (after taking one of the babies to the vet to check his blood pressure and heart murmur--I know, but he's my baby!). Sunday is a whole lotta nothin'. Then Monday I'm going riding with a friend from work. Riding as in horseback not bicycling or motorcycling. My God! I'm so excited! I plan to be back to my as-normal-as-usual self by Tuesday. Granted, it ain't always that normal! =)

almost tgif

Wow. Almost a whole week since I blogged. Where does the time go? Oh ya, it goes to work. So here are a few things that have happened to me within the past week:

Last Saturday I had a little game night thingamajigger at my place. It was so much fun, but MY GOD people were here until almost 1am. That either really shows my age or my dedication to my choral job Sunday mornings. At about 12:30am I mentioned how late it was. Everyone seemed shocked that it was so late. That, my dears, is the sign of a good party.

Then there was Sunday. After church and lunch with a long lost friend, there was no rest for the weary. Half of Winny had a birthday (happy 35th!) so we all met at their place for Super Bowl/birthday festivities. During the half time, we flipped over to Guitar Hero (my 1st time to play--not too bad for a first time--84% correct) and had birthday pie. Yes, pie. As soon as the game was over--and what a fantastic 4th quarter it was!--I booked it home to watch House. Yes, I'm addicted to Hugh Laurie. Anyone who can act on a medical drama and Black Adder has my vote any day.

The work week was that. A week of work. Funny thing was that I've been "off" all week. Wednesday I thought it was Thursday. Today I thought it was Friday. I'm gonna be pissed tomorrow when I wake up and have to go to work. Doesn't help that "management" is going through a phase. I cannot wait for Saturday to arrive. I did have one unexpected happy moment this morning though. Someone brought all their leftover Christmas chocolates to work and left them on the break table. Normally that wouldn't really thrill me. HOWEVER, there were Andes mints in the mix. Hell ya! Those were the best 10 minutes of my day. *remembers the minty goodness and smiles wistfully*

So, now it's Lent. Time for fasting, reflection, contemplation, and other lenty things. I hope you all take this time to focus on what is really important in your lives. You are all my dear friends, and I love you all! Thank you for being a part of my life. =)

tgif

Not a whole lot to report, but I just thought I'd let y'all know what little is going on in my little world.

P. Whitey is not gonna make it. Beside the fact that he's not a paperwhite (okay, so I never claimed to be botanist) but an amaryllis, he didn't like being outside in 50mph winds. I'd insert a picture here, but it'd just be too sad. Poor leaves just dangled across the flower bed. *insert sobbing here*

I made yet another horsey friend today. You tell one person how to work with parasites and they invite you out to ride with them. Brilliant!

If you have a weak stomach, stop reading here. Most of you know that I just got over a kick ass case of bronchitis. Well, I really thought something was coming back. I'd been getting all sinusy the past couple of days, and my right maxillary sinus was in total pain. Then I started getting the green goo outta my nose. Finally today while I was at work, it got worse. Damn. I finally snorked up a golfball sized snot globber. Being in the lab, I took advantage of what was at my disposal. I made a smear, stained it, and looked at it under the microscope. Tons of neutrophils but no eosinophils. Some sort of infection but not an allergy problem. Luckily, there was no bacteria seen. Funny. I felt incredibly better after that, and the sinus pain is all but gone. Go fig.