Monday, April 20, 2009

things you don't want to hear from your doctor

Today being my day off for the week, I had two appointments: one with the dentist and one with the internist. Dentist was first at 8:30am. Ugh. On my day off? Really? Anyway, so it was. I've been having issues with my whole TMJ problem, and he wanted to adjust my mouthguard that I sleep in. Oooh ya, it's sexy. So he's poking around at the different muscles in my mouth and around my jaw asking things like "is this sore, does that hurt?" Then he says this: "Huh, that's interesting." Not something you really want to hear from the dentist. I ask what is interesting to which he replies "well, no case is textbook." I still never really got an answer. Whatever. The man gave me valium. We love him.

Then after a lovely lunch with my delightful mother and a longish nap, I had to have a check up with the GP. When he walked in the room, he just looked at me with his deadpan face and said "so, why are you here?" Personally, I relished my reply of "I dunno, y'all called me." So there! Sticking it to the man! It was just time for a check up and a new and improved tetanus shot. When we finish with all the checking up issues, I always watch what the doc types in his little computer terminal, and he put in something to the effect of "patient denies STD testing." What? He asked if I needed it, and I said no. That's not denying. I called him on it, and he was all "well are you at risk?" Again, I said no, but that I wouldn't "deny" testing. Then he gets all insurancy on me and said they prolly wouldn't cover the testing anyway, does my OB/GYN do it, blah blah blah. Don't get me wrong, I loooooooooove my doctor, but he was being a patooty-head. Guess that was his way of rewarding me for losing 98 pounds. Strange little fellow. =)

Now I'm back home, chilling before I have to go to choir rehearsal. Our night got switched this week since the director has symphony stuff later in the week. I guess I should go. Oh ya, btw--feeling SOOOOO much better, thank you for asking. Just a little 48 hour bug-a-boo that's all gone now.

Saturday, April 18, 2009


Why oh why do people insist on continuing to come to work when they are sick??? Because of that, my 3 day weekend has been ruined. I have a fever. I never run a fever. I feel like hooey. All I wanna do is lay in bed (or on the futon) and sleep and complain. I even warned the boy he may not wanna come down to watch the Maverick game after all. Sweet boy said he just wanted to see me and make me feel better. Let's all say "awwww." Luckily for him, all that will involve is leaving me pretty much alone and refilling my cup of tea.

So, for all you martyrs out there, if you are sick, STAY HOME! We can work without you for a day or two. Darn it.

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Holy (holey?) week

Did I mention the hole in my roof? The one in my tv room? The gaping two foot square hole covered in black plastic? Yaaaaah. It now has a new problem. It is spawning waterbugs. If you are not from the South or live ridiculously close to a body of water, you may not know the atrociousness of these hideous things. Imagine a really big dark brown roach and give it wings. Also make it aggressive. Ugh. So, since all the rain in the past week or so, these bugs have been crawling in through gaps in the plastic. Heck, they may be chewing holes in the plastic. They do that, ya know. Okay, that's a little background info for what I'm about to type.

So it's Holy Week. Last night I had a 3+ hour choir rehearsal at church. When I finally got home absolutely exhausted about ten til ten, I noticed I'd not turned on the front porch light. Damnation. Fine, I can find the keyhole in the dark--I've done it before. When I did get the door just opened, *whoosh!* my cat goes running out the door. Are you kidding me? So I spend a good 5 minutes crawling around on my driveway trying to get the dumb beast out from under my car. He was loving it--rolling around on the ground where I couldn't reach him. This is why many of his nicknames are expletives. I finally corral him inside, and start my night time bed time routine. I was checking my email and winding down when I heard this scurrying noise. Oh damn. I know that noise. Little legs on plastic. Ewwwww! It was the biggest damned waterbug I've EVER seen. I swear it was as big as your face! Well, not really, but it may as well have been. It was at least 4 inches of nasty aggressive flying terrible-ness. I got out my bug spray, and I think the bug laughed at me. "Hahaha! You stupid woman! I'll get you!" And then he flew straight at me. Yes, I screamed like a girl. I kept trying to spray it, and it kept trying to attack me. Keep in mind, I was using the hornet spray that shoots across the room in a stream up to 5 feet. I hit him a couple of times, and then he just went ballistic shaking his wings and running 90 to nothing across the walls and ceiling and floor. Last I saw of him, he'd run back to the wall with the hole in the ceiling. I never saw him again, but I'm sure he'll come back to haunt me.

Thank goodness I'm having the carpets cleaned tomorrow. I'm sure there's enough bug spray in the carpet now to kill a squadron of those damnable beasts.